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Tarringo T Vaughan's ? Diary Of A Gay Black Man Vol.27"Home Again"I left there just a child.?A young boy of innocence unchallenged to what life had to offer me.?I saw the world in a different light.?I didn't know about racism and the obstacles my ancestors had to face to achieve equal rights.?I didn't know I was poor and had less than others.?And I didn't know about homosexuality.?And when I just recently returned, I returned as a man with many definitions.?Not just defined by my skin color, economic status or sexuality, but defined by my individuality.?So as I drove through the streets that I once again recognized as the beginning of my growth, I saw the images of family, support and the many definitions of life.?Dudley Ave, Warren Street, the many street signs of familiar streets throughout the Roxbury and Dorchester neighborhoods of Boston told the beginning chapters of my life but they were also a reminder of what was still hidden.The toughest part of homosexuality is having to tell those around you and stepping out of that secret closet.?These days are a little less tough, but no matter how proud and content one is of him/herself it still matters that those who you grew up loving and who supported you accept who you are.?Coming out of the closet isn't something I have officially done as far as family goes, but I know some members know and others are suspecting.?I really don't have the type of family who would get all dramatic about it which would be easier you would think.?But for me, I just don't want to deal with the potential attitude I may receive.?

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But for me, I just don't want to deal with the potential attitude I may receive.?And that's only because of all the expectations my family have of me.?I brought up going back to Boston because I saw many relatives I haven't seen since I was that little child.?Each of them asked me about girlfriends and how I shouldn't be single and when I was going to have kids.?I realized after answering for the tenth time that I was really hiding who I was to make other people comfortable and happy.?But what about myself?I walked around my Uncles house feeling very out of place.?What they all were seeing was the man they wanted to see but not the man I was.?And at those moments I just wondered how many gay and lesbian individuals had that same feeling of "feeling out of place".?I thought to myself that even if I had a lover I wouldn't have been able to bring him and that goes for any family events.?There will be that awkwardness surrounding us and I don't know how well I would deal with that if at all.?I do have friends who have very accepting families who embraced their partners.?I just wish all families could be that supportive.?What will it take to just allow people to be people and love who they want??Is it religion, is it the media, and is it just our society??I can proudly say that I think attitudes and opinions towards homosexuality is easing up a bit and in my opinion it's because it's out there more and seen and more and more ?gay individuals are sharing non-stereotypical voices like myself I suppose!?But anyway when I went back to Boston in those neighborhood I thought I was returning home, but it really wasn't until I was back around the friends and people who know about me and support who I am that I felt I was home again.

Last Updated ( Thursday, 17 July 2008 )

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